I still haven't really let go yet, and while I think it's odd to hold on to something like high school, this is just my way of realizing I have to officially move on. I do still believe I will enjoy college, and I am still very much looking forward to moving in and meeting new people and experiencing new things. I just want you know that I have valued the experiences in high school, and part of that is attributed to my friends. I will always carry Chaminade with me (though I will hopefully be back to teach!!!) and look forward to hearing about all of your experiences while I go into my own.
26 August 2009
Difficult Goodbyes
So today, my dad woke me up at 5 'til 7 in the morning. Being that my body takes that as a signal to wake up for school I was unable to fall back asleep. However, I woke up in time to watch my sister get into a friends car and drive to her first day at Chaminade, without me. I took this much harder then I thought I would. My experience at Chaminade was so positive and so fantastic (with very few exceptions) that saying goodbye has been difficult since the night of Bacc mass. Since it was summer it didn't really cross my mind and I was able to push it into the background of my thoughts. Then when people started leaving for college it crept up on me but I was still able to not really dwell on it. Then this morning it walked up and smacked me right across the face. The thought of no more afternoons on senior lawn making jokes or throwing ice, no more visiting teachers just because you wanted to talk to them, no more sitting on the stairs outside the band room mingling, no more lounging out in Campus Ministry was almost too much to bear. Today Laura said to me, "People say that college is supposed to the best time of your life, but for me it isn't as fun as Chaminade was." This scared me a bit because she has already been to college and I am very excited about it, so I wondered if maybe I was expecting too much.
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Don't take my summer experience to heart. It was like fake-freshman first semester. Ashley(my sister) said the other day that she is so jealous of us cuz we get to go to college. I think that the learning part is going to be awsome, but the jury is still out for everything else. We found our best friends in high school, some people find them in college. I think thats going to be the hardest part for us. But you have a fabulous roomate who will be loads of fun. And a blog to keep in touch with all of us.
ReplyDeleteAshley, i'm having a good time. I really am. i like the people on my floor and my room mate is cool. But it isn't the same. I'm sure it will get better (I'm only in day 3) but i miss you guys so much. Like, unbelievably so. I just want someone to give me a hug or hold my hand. It's weird, because you get used to the comfortable physicality that we have established with each other, but so far the only people i have touched have been by accident. it's so pretty here, and i feel almost like a grown up, but i miss you, smith, poole, stewart, band, and my family. i miss chaminade so much, but i am hoping that i develope that same love for Vassar. It will take some time, but i am confident that it will happen. Don't lose heart, it will all be okay. I wish i had liked high school less though. I'll be carrying my love for Chaminade with me for a long time, i think. But it isn't mine any more.
ReplyDeletethat was kelli, btw. i dont have a fancy name thing. deal with it.
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